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i had a dream that i was watching a video of dylann roof playing the piano before he was a school shooter, and in the dream, he was playing chopin's grande polonaise brilliante, but he was playing it slowly and sweetly, with an arpeggio in the left hand, instead of those manic waltzy jumps in the original. in the comments, i read that it must have been his way of dealing with his inner demons.
when i woke up, i was still hearing the sweet melody in my head, and i never liked the song before, but i started to listen to it, and idk why, but emotion overwhelmed me and i started crying. sometimes this happens, and i suddenly get the ability to figure out how to play a song on the piano, like i heard edelweiss and cinderella's a dream is a wish your heart makes, and i ended up making transcriptions for both of those songs, it's like an insatiable itch i need to scratch. i don't know why this happens.
sometimes, i wonder if those songs i've forgotten all about are still hidden somewhere deep in my brain, and i wish i could hear them one more time, but maybe they're just distant memories. i don't know why these things happen.
