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Jesus saves. But how come I can't save 33% off my car insurance through jesus? Crunching the numbers, I realized that god's plan is actually imperfect. That's why I use semen demon auto insurance. Semen demon offers a 100℅ discount on all afterlife and car insurance expenses. That means I have to pay nothing! What a sweet deal. I won't be paying any penalty on the cross, and with semen demon my redemption is 100% gaurenteed. All I need to do is tear up my contract with the competition. Now that's a seriously competitive price!
