For time immemorial, humanity has asked itself: What does it truly mean to be free?
Many people and cultures throughout the ages have tried to answer this question with varying degrees of success - but at some point in the 21st Century the American people finally found out the answer that humanity itself had been searching for so long.
Then The United States gifted us with the Big Bounder Bariatric Sports Wheelchair. (A gun mount can be installed)
http://www.wheelchairs.com/bigbounderpage.htmThis is not just Freedom, this is Peak Freedom. This is living life on the edge and to the fullest without need for such frivolous things as necks or the ability to stand. This is 62" of padded seating for your burgeoning ass, this is comfort, speed and support for when you reach the All American Milestone of 1000 pounds.
With respirator shelves and O2 bottle holders you'll never be short of breath as you scoot-scoot around the aisles of Walmart or at your local cruising spot.
Even the bags of snacks on the top shelves are no match for this incredible machine - it can be installed with a 13" seat elevator and lights so you can always spot the hamburgers in the dark.
Soon, I will be casting off the shackles of "recommended daily calorie intake" and self respect to join the ranks of my American brothers and sisters - who have bravely made the step into the realm of Peak Freedom. I can only imagine what it feels like but I hope that the rest of humanity will join them in their glorious future.
