Quoted By:
*Jesus and his disciples are walking along the road early in the morning. Jesus, grumpy because he missed breakfast, spots a fig tree in the distance.*
Jesus: "Yo, let’s get some figs. I’m starving."
*The disciples nod, relieved that maybe they can eat too. They approach the tree, but as they get closer, they realize it has no fruit because it’s not fig season.*
Peter: "Uh, Rabbi? No figs. It’s not the right time of year."
*Jesus stares at the tree, his face twitching with Jewish rage.*
Jesus: "What the hell? A tree that doesn’t give me figs when I want them is useless!"
*The disciples exchange awkward glances, unsure of what to say. Jesus walks up to the tree, and with a dramatic gesture, curses it.*
Jesus: "May no one ever eat fruit from you again!"
*The disciples watch in stunned silence as Jesus glares at the tree angrily. They can’t believe he’s that mad over a few figs. Jesus storms off, still grumbling.*
James: "Did he just…curse a tree? For not having fruit…in the winter?"
John: "Yeah, man. He’s in a mood today. Let’s just keep quiet."
*They follow Jesus in silence, trying to avoid eye contact. Later, as they pass by the same spot, the tree is withered to its roots. Jesus looks pleased with himself.*
Jesus: "See that? You mess with me, you get cursed. Remember that."
*The disciples nod, still confused and a little uneasy. Peter whispers to John.*
Peter: "What the fuck was that?"
John: "Just let it go, man. You want him cursing you next?"
*They continue on their way, all hoping they never have to bring up figs again.*
Mark 11:12-14, 20-21
