Quoted By:
>Be me
>Live in Finland
>Wake up to discover city has built a metro line through my apartment using the €300,000 it fined from the CEO of Nokia for going 1km/h over the speed limit
>Get dressed and get on the metro
>Driver is a 19 year old kid with long blonde hair and massive headphones on
>Studied for 14 years to become a metro driver
>Recognize him immediately, it's the Prime Minister
>Sit down
>Metro filled with people, mostly middle-aged men who know 7 languages and speak none of them
>6 year old kid next to me lights 3 cigarettes at once and asks me if I have any games on my phone
>Give him my phone, he notices I have Angry Birds
>Speaks to me in perfect english
>"Hello, I am the Minister for Technological Advancement. You have clearly demonstrated a commitment to furthering Finnish industry and software. For this reason, I am awarding you €75,000."
>Say "kiitos" (thanks)
>"Here's another €25,000 for being fluent in Finnish."
>Get off the metro
>Immediately see naked man wearing nothing but a swastika armband walk out of a sauna
>He turns to me and speaks
>"Hello. I am an officer of the 3rd SS Panzerdivision Totenkopf in the Finnish Army. I have been tasked with ensuring that every foreigner makes full use of our 10% off tourist discount. Take this and use it well."
>He runs off and tackles a man for jaywalking
>Fines the guy €100,000 for public indecency
>Gives him €150,000 for being an immigrant
>Fines him €25,000 for talking too much
>Gives him €75,000 for being in a death metal band
>Walk into supermarket
>Purchase a bottle of water
>Cashier asks me if I have a club card
>I show her my club card for a competitor supermarket
>She gives me 95% off
>I use my 10% tourist discount
>The supermarket pays me 85 cents
>As I'm walking out everyone in the supermarket is running out
>"RUSSIAN PERSON DETECTED IN CITY CENTER ALL UNITS MOBILIZE"
>Just another day in the world's happiest country!
