>>12126184Look man I get it. I may have not got it as hard as you in terms of the mother ripping on you but I get it. You have an almost impossible task it is likely you will get fucked up. I get that some random cunts on the net telling you "just think good BrO It Will GeTbEtEr" is bollox and its useless advice.
First of all you need to organise your own mind. You want to program right ? OK then generalise your current life in computer terms. Your c drive (mind) is all fuckd up and fders are named wrong (read : udk wtf to do but you have the base information of what you want)
Your mother is a virus ( she obviously sounds like a heavy case of a psychopath which means she is a predator). You need to understand that she is mentally damaged from a normal person and she will continue to eat you alive. You mist try to create a tactic which will not come in a day or a week to avoid her as much as possible. Play to her image that you are having bad luck etc. The more you fight her the more she will feed on it. Remmeber this.
You also say your mind is fucked. Well the beauty of our brains is they are pretty much "plastic" so you CAN fix but it is going to be a herculean task dude. You must understand there is a chance but you have 0 chance if you do not try. You beain is fucked ? Well what can you do to help it? I'm sure you know sleep 8hrs a day, do 16-8 fasting, stop coffee for month etc. Do it in steps. First your body then you try to learn while making it seem to the outside that you are not having any luck.
Wallowing on pol will do fuck all. You can only change yourself and your circumstances because you know how deep in shit you are. The more you wallow the digger grave you dig yourself. As you are aware life isn't all lalala everything is lovely, there is evil and there is hell.
You must choose between action or inaction, good or evil. You seem to be in a very bad place but man listen to me, everyone gets fucked by life 1 way or another.
Don't. Give. Up.
