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>Never had anyone love me romantically
>Never had anyone I could call a best friend
>Barely had friends over all, those i did/do have never reached out to me, it was always me doing it or by being in same school/work
I'm really fucking lonely and am beyond questioning death, I'd be very content if I went to sleep and never woke up again. What's keeping me alive now is mostly the thought of "you need to give life a chance before you end it" as I'm "only" 20, but I've honestly lost all hope at this point and don't see the reason in putting in any more effort, if I tried my best for 20 fucking years and it never amounted to anything, then there's something fundamentally wrong that can't be fixed. I know what that something is, I am autistic, and because of that I'll never fit in, and never find a true companion to make life worth while. Even if someone were out there, I'd really appreciate at least a trail of bread crumbs, because if I don't have that, as is currently the case, then I'll starve before I'll make it
