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didn't seriously get into right wing ideology or even read books until i took a 10 strip of some "250" ug stuff i bought off the alphabay market over the course of 3 hours because i convinced myself i didnt take any as i was coming up, after crying for an hour and puking and shitting myself i cleaned up and had the most intense audio visual high and simply never did any drugs after that encounter, wasn't life changing or mind altering i just decided to fix my shit because of it and it worked