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So a couple years ago I worked as a waiter in a little country style restaurant. It had been a long shift with multiple broken plates, glasses, and mostly spirits (Fuck being a waiter). So the afternoon shift is starting to come in for the day when I decide to take one last two-top table. It was a younger black girl and and white guy. They were both maybe 18, and being a waiter I could tell it was a date and probably the first. This is where it gets good.
The host sits them and I give them a couple minutes to converse and figure out their drink choices. Now this is my last table of the day and I know guys usually tip well on dates and it's been a rough day so I put on a smile and walk over. The guy orders a sweet tea and the girl order a water and coffee with cream and sugar. So I ask the guy if he would like a coffee and he says "yes". "Okay fantastic! And would you like and cream or sugar?" And then he says the thing I'll never forget. "No I like my coffee..Quickly glances across the tableAfrican American".
I seriously was flabbergasted. It was probably the most hilarious thing I've ever heard yet the intense cringe of a thousand suns kept my laugh in. The girl was obviously astonished. I just said "Okay. Black. Coming right up." And scurried away as the guy sat looking horrified as he realized what he had just let slip. I go tell my manager and he nearly collapses from laughter. I get the drink and go to bring them out and they had left. No idea what happened to the happy couple. But I am sure that young man has sat up many nights questioning his existence and why the hell he would ever say that. I know I still lay awake til this day and I was just a bystander.
