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I'm an thief that's been stealing since the first grade. Well into adulthood continued it, I didn't have to work for years from running a organised retail theft ring and selling on eBay. At some point after my engagement with my fiance ended I decided to change but it was years before I managed to fully stop. It was an addiction, one I kicked. Being said, working sucks. I deserve to suffer for all I've done but it still sucks. Being a former criminal gives a a perspective that makes me pro-police now, and I have adopted conservative ideals. I detest the past but can't change it nor should I deny it. My love life is bleh. It's hard to connect to people when you're still dealing with internal moral conflicts, it's still there beneath the surface. A desire to live outside the rules... and add in a world stuck in social media where you're more likely to get another girl's attention through posting your life activities online than from the girl you are currently experiencing those same life activities with while she is on her phone looking at someone else's postings of their activities while so on and so on. I've considered myself to be a bad person for most my of life now, how is it that I, Mr. Worthless Criminal Asshole, still find meaning? I don't know and it hurts, but it won't hurt as much as it would if I reduced myself back to the level I lived most of my life at. I won't be a Hero, but festering like a never healing wound isn't appealing either.
