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This bitch is gonna be the death of me yet I can't help but be drawn to her in a mysterious way. We're official but I'm worried about completely "giving myself" to a woman again, Every time it ends in pain. And it seems that this "distance" that's created from this mentality is the very thing that makes her like me more, like she's trying to penetrate this fortress.
We were driving tonight and we were both very angry about some shit that our friends were saying behind our backs. So angry that we decided to take the next exit, park, and then take it out on each other. Literally just started throwing hands with this girl, she got me pretty good on my arm. Once we were spent, we got in the car and she just climbed on top of me and we went it at for half an hour. What woman is supposed to top that level of excitement?
Idk I just need to share this because she has some spell on me, We've known each other for a year and have only been sleeping with each other but only recently started dating officially. But I'm scared. Scared of being hurt again, of letting her in. And I feel like this refusal to truly let her in is gonna be the only way she will remain attracted to me. I've let a girl in before and it destroyed me. But this girl has an even stronger spell on me.
Happy New Years fellas.
