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I don't really lust after women or men, and I've tested both. It's curious that people derive pleasure from seeing lard on skeletal frames bouncing, or stiff mushroom-shaped phalluses.
Human mating rituals are so strange. It all seems to be shaped around it. Centering society around creating babies so we can create more babies, and future generations can obsess about creating more babies. Why would anyone want that? There doesn't seem to be a purpose for human existence so creating more of this is irrational.
I don't really have friends and I don't want to discuss things with anyone. I see people chatting and it feels completely alien to me. Sometimes people are friendly and ask me things about my life. I can't understand how they want to talk about something if it's not conducive to their survival. My understanding of human behavior comes from evolutionary sociology. For some reason, aside from food and basic survival, I completely lack any of the traits that defines a human being. Food and vidya aren't really enjoyable either. They're distractions to pass the time. I'd starve to death if I didn't remember to eat.
I only have slight inklings of emotion from my childhood, which I use as a reference point to infer what others are feeling. But I don't really feel anything.
I act like I do constantly. I've learned to mimic others because I've been told I have "serial killer vibes" in those words multiple times. Nothing really gets me upset and others can't comprehend it. I've used sardonic, dry wit as a bubble to insulate myself. I feel like I'm doing a magic act, distracting people from what I really am: an imposter
The stuff I read on /pol/ doesn't titilate me. I get the sense of people being childish when they're emotional: That is all.
If I were the "psychopath" archetype... Why is it that I don't share any of the traits, except cold detachment? Shouldn't I be driven and ruthless? I've been trying to figure out how I might be like that, instead of empty.