>>11185233I think you guys are having a wrong approach here
you're trying to get me to stay when I DO NOT WANT TO STAY, I know it's childish, I know it's stupid- but listen to me: I'm not going to pull in effort for something I do not want
I don't want to study and be on uni as longbas my petty demands aren't set, I'm not even asking for much, I'm asking for understanding, it wouldn't take them any effort to accomodate for me nor any extra bleeds in bank account~ they just need to follow few easy to live by steps so I can have atleast some enviroment for study: but they refuse
they refuse out of insolence, they don't want to adapt to me and I'm just not good at adaptation, I can charismaticaly ptetend in front of people but I can't actually change my routines snd personality in earnest- and I did try, I tried for various things; from getting friends, to getting a gf, to getting respect from my relatives, to getting noticed by proffesors: and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm too dumb for that
you don't get to hear about my numerous attempts that resulted in failures as I learned nothing from them, theres nothing interesting to say so I don't like talking about them~ but I would still attempt it again and again
even when I raused my hands off of uni I still tried to make maths work- and it didn't because I'm a dumb slut
at this point I must say I just don't want to anymore and all I want is some rest, I didn't have any at all since may
the moment I write up a post somebody calls me to do this or do zhat, I have no idea how I even manage to keep up this blog as the amount of demand for me is so immense I do more in one day than a lot of people in a week: but I never talk about that, so I'm afraid you might be under missunderstanding that all I do whole day is update the blog and jerk off all say when that couldn't be further from the truth