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Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you're HOW old?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand...
HERE! BOING!
AHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the look on your face! J-Jeez, anon! Th-Th-They're just sacks of fat on my chest, ya know! Do they really excite you THAT much?! G-Get a look at this, then! See how they bounce up and down! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to squeeze them too, don't you, Mr. Perverted Virginboy Anon?! G-Go right ahead! Honk these honkin' honkers as much as you want! Take your time! Heck, s-suck on 'em too! I know you really want to~! Just be careful: my red soviet stars are super hard right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~!
I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my oil pipe too! You pervert! W-W-Well, we're already this far! Might as well! I'm wearing nothing underwear!
S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that ragin' 'rection in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a pathetic pervert, anon! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of your mother's! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! Jeezums fucking GULAGs, it's so fucking wet! I-I've never seen it this wet before! Look at what you're doing to me, you freaking pervert! Y-You sure know how to make a Russian Tsar all hot and bothered! Oh, lordy! Stalin-on-a-stick! You'd better take some responsibility for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to cram something up there! And I'm leaking like a freaking vodka bottle here! You'd better p-p-p-plug it up RIGHT NOW!