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so i've been doing drugs, specifically coke and speed/amphetamine for around 3 years now. and it hasn't destroyed me. i've become more social, have a better self-esteem and people suddenly feel like i'm a nice and friendly human being. i've also accomplished a lot. but still, because of the drugs, i feel so wrong. as if i'm not the person i should be. and i'm really not the person i should be, the person i should be is worse; he is introverted, hates all people, and is a ballast for all people who know him. i want to be this person, even if he's so bad, because he could feel satisfaction being the person he is. i have no idea what i should do.
