>>15001601You will never be a real viking. You have no drakkar, you have no sacred grove, you have no slave-wives. You are an obese man twisted by corn syrup and hormone-pumped meat into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your ancestors are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your asinine positions behind closed doors. Christians are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out larpers with incredible efficiency. Even larpers who “pass” look uncanny and tryhard to a man. Your reddit handle is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk woman home with you, she’ll turn tail and bolt the second she gets a whiff of your smelly, funko-pop filled axe-shed. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rosary, get on your knees, put it around your palms, and plunge into the Glorious Mysteries. Your parents will find you, surprised but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you (in 60 years) with a cross headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Christian is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a soul that is unmistakably Saved. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.