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I can only keep my mind sedated with distractions like that for so long. There are times like today when all the blocked out thoughts and feelings just seep out and I cannot stop myself from crying the entire day.
I don't know what to do, I feel so utterly lost and I'm so afraid that I might be beyond help, unfixable and this is the way I'll live from now on.
I don't know what do to, I don't know, I don't know.