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I don’t have anybody to vent to about my problems so I figured this is the next best thing. Hope I’m not much of a burden to you guys.
School started up again on sept. 4th and my mental health has slowly been declining ever since then.
My now deceased pet rat died on July 24th at 11:34 am. He was my whole world, my everything and I haven’t been happy ever since he died. I’ve been considering suicide pretty much ever since his death. About a month after he passed away I got two new pet rats but all they do is remind me of him, and I start crying uncontrollably whenever I walk into my room and see them in the same cage my beloved baby was kept in.
Ever since I stopped taking my antidepressants during the summer (because they were doing jack-shit) I haven’t felt hungry at all, so now I can go for days on end, forgetting to eat, and feel no hunger pains whatsoever. Eating feels like a chore to me now and I don’t see the point in eating anything anymore. And it’s not related to any body image issues, because I really do like the way I look.
Another not very important but thing that really bugs me and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable is when people mistake me for a guy, online and irl. I got my hair cut shorter last winter because during ski season it’s not very nice to have long hair in your mouth and eyes every 2-5 minutes when your going down a mountainside. My hair also doesn’t grow very fast so it’s pretty much as short as it was last year. During spring break my family and I went on a trip to the states. I wear loose clothes most of the time because they’re comfortable and paired with my short hair and slightly masculine face shape, people obviously mistook for a guy every single time we checked into a motel, restaurant or hotel. It made me incredibly uncomfortable especially when they do a double take and don’t know if I’m an dude or femanon.
Thanks for listening fellow anons, hope you’ve had a better year than I have.