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>be me
>be 18
>at school, have a circle of friends
>other people joined as well
>always formed small groups because we didnt know each other
>there was this girl i didnt know, dyed hair, emo, not very social, let's call her S
>after summer break, see her again, no dyed hair
>holyshitshescute.mfw
>spend the next 4 months getting closer to her, small talk etc.
>then it comes
>Valentines day
>send her a rose with a small shitty poem (organized by students, they had permission to walk around with roses during classes to deliver them)
>next recess
>hear S talk about how she got two roses out of the three that were delivered to her class
>she got two roses, but only one was mine
>fuck, apparently i have competition
>she tells she knows her best friend send her a "friendship rose"
>wew, no competition
>but she doesnt know who sent the second one
>i was talking with some friends, pretty quiet
>tell them to wish me luck
>turn to S
>i asked her if she read the poem
>"yea, but i dont know who sent it"
Basically, the poem says that i would like to take her out on a date
>"so, what do you think? care to go on a date?"
>she is surprised, kind of flustered as well
>after a second or two she says "i would love that"
>we plan the date two days after
>incredibly nervous the entire day, could only eat half a sandwich
>time comes, date goes well
>we talked and had lunch, then took a walk
>acquired gf that day
>happiest i've ever been
>three weeks later, i thought all was going well
>she tells me she never had any feelings for me
>she never had any romantic feelings at all, thought it would come later
>i think i almost became depressed after that, never got checked because fuck that
>friends noticed i didnt smile for a week
>now its six months after she broke up with me
>i still talk with her
>i still miss her
>always get sad when i see couples being happy
>always get sad when i think about what i had
>sometimes i wonder why i keep on living, knowing i'll never get the only thing i want
