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Its not healthy, but I first realized I was sadist at a young age. I used to jack off to pic related's 44 days of torture often. I watched the movie the "The girl next door" (2007) when I was 15 and would usually jack off to that. It was about an aunt that abuses her niece and eventually lets her sons rape/torture her in the basement (based on true story). When I used to have a gf I would imagine raping other women I knew when sleeping with her. Its not something I've tried to make myself attracted to, I've always had a sadistic sexuality. I think it has something to do with the way girls in my class used to treat me growing up, but I dunno. I have never liked porn, I've mostly stuck with reading about historical accounts of sexual slavery and rape. I do like the idea of being violated myself tho. So maybe its just the violence aspect that gets me off.
