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I just don't understand why most things exist. After becoming a full-time wagie my life entirely changed. I'd been a NEET / part timer before. That was great. God I miss working 11 to 5 then after work once a week my friends and I would get cheap takeout then go up the road and play dungeons and dragons til 9pm. I was excited to get a full-time job so I could.play DnD after work. And have structure in my life again. Well quickly the lack of free time sank in and I've neglected so much the past 2 years. Stopped sleeping as much, soon I was sleeping 5 or 6 hours a night. Now it's pretty much a hard 5. I feel so numb to reality..I barely care about anything. Why do magazines and newspapers exist? I have a subscription to economist magazine, how the fuck do I have time to read all that? I read maybe 20 percent of the articles and it takes me all week.. I thought about trying to monetize some of my hobbies...why bother? There's enough out there. Why do books exist? There are all these new games, lol who gives a fuck? My creative spark is gone, and I don't get that "ASMR" feeling from relaxing in nature like I used to. The brain damage from missing 1200 hrs of sleep has made it so I am not alive anymore..I dont even have time for a gf either, I would spend like maybe 1 day a week with her unless I dropped all my other friends. Fuck being a wagecuck..I live with my parents and have 60k saved so someday I will buy the cheapest possible house or condo so I can be a part-time wagie again. Of course I'll be 30 soon and the man child things which are my only reason for living will lose their luster...my imaginative energy yis already dying..I don't have ideas anymore like the flood of them I had when I began my job, I had filled a notepad they gave me for work details with my own ideas and stuff within 2 months. Now I don't see the point in doingmuuch of anything.
All to make some dogshit product most people will chuck
>BBBUT I NEED TO PRODOOCE, IM PRODOOOCING AGGHH