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The absolute telltale sign of a /pol/tard is how incapable they are at grasping the concept of humor and banter. All their "jokes" always sound like they have some vein of butthurt underneath, they also can barely talk outside of catchphrases.
Something like this gem, for example, could never come out of /pol/. In fact, there is a /pol/ rebuttal to this image (and its shit).