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anon, i used to be exactly like you
my mum caused immense hurt for me, and i am still working on fixing the behaviours and coping mechanisms that she instilled upon me in my childhood, it'll probably be a lifelong battle
but let me tell you, unless she did things like beat or raped you, i think that you should try to work things out with her. not exactly be all sunshine and rainbows with her, but at least start by tolerating her. not everyone is fortunate enough to still have their mother, but you do
if you look at her parents. you will likely notice that there are probably also similar patterns and that they are not the best people. it's likely your mother wasn't born like this, but is acting out of the wounds/trauma she suffered as a child. she mightn't have been the best for you, but judging by the fact that you didn't starve or weren't smothered as a child and you made it through your childhood, she must have a smidgen of affection for you. you can probably also think back on some fond memories you had with her. going off the little info i know about her, she probably isnt an inherently evil person, just a very troubled person acting like the little hurt petulant child they are inside
you are also acting like a hurt petulant child as a result, and its up to you to get your shit together and end that cycle