>>1007008for around 3 years i'd just binge on extra hevy beer twice a week, when my friend killed himself i just said fuck it and started buying anything. i'd say another 3 years i was drinking nearly a bottle of vodka a day or the equivilent amount in wine if i had no money. i'd just use a taxi to get there because obviously i couldn't drive and it's cheap anyway.
there'd be periods where i sobered but never more than a few days at a time. the point for me was to knock myself unconscious or black out as often as possible. kind of hope i'd choke on my own vomit in my sleep or something like that but that never happened. the symptoms would scare me, like body shakes and poor memory. also my body started getting fluid retention, like under the chin which looked horrible and bloated. also felt pains in the lymph nodes which was awful
i weened myself off it, had a withdrawal which was fucking awful and took days. had panic attacks and vague hallucinations. didn't go to hospital or rehab or anything but i probably should have (they say withdrawal kills people)
and that's it. don't drink kids
