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I’m homeless living in my car.
Today I bought a drink and some gas but drove off before filling up my gas tank.
I remember and tried to drive back but there was heavy traffic, by time I got there someone else had stolen my gas.
Then, in a fit of rage, I parked my car a block from the gas station and marched back over on my feet, intending to smash a window.
On my walk over I stepped on what I thought was grass, but turned out to be a 2 foot deep puddle of sewage water.
Now I have no gas, no money and I’m covered in human feces.
I think I will kill myself tonight guys, it’s been nice knowing you.