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I'm a likable shitbag
A scandalous lead
I'm a lovable, horrible
Summer day breeze
I'm a vicious upstart
And a boy scout in part
I'm a fucking disaster
With a gigantic heart
And I'll piss on your garden
While waving good eve
I wear number four jerseys
Just to shit the Chinese
My intentions are pure
But I'm just a bit blunt
And to a few select people
I'm the world's greatest cunt
I'm just not a hateful
Or mean kind of a guy
I'm just fucking cheeky
Sarcastic, and dry
Some say I'm offensive
Grotesque, and obscene
I just don't give a fuck
And I say what I mean
Just like Amy Schumer
But without the disease
'cause it turns out the world biggest cunt might be me
