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My mom was with me while I did mushrooms and she made fun of me saying I looked like a mental patient in a hospital. It made me realize that even though she has been a stay at home mom and always near me, she's too self involved to really love me or understand me. "you don't get me" "you always ignore me" "you never support me" kept replaying in my head over and over again.
The first time I did LSD was the best. My bed was full of clothes and my room, a mess. I felt so disgusted with myself. I looked at pictures and listened to music online. I also saw an interview of a singer and I could tell when he was lying based on his expressions. "where have I been?" was what was replying in my mind towards the end of the trip. I started to fold all my clothes and cleaned my room. I also remember looking in the mirror and seeing black emphasized. My black hair especially. I wish I remembered more.
On a side note my memory is not what it used to be. I often don't remember what I was talking about 5 minutes ago or when I went somewhere. Is this because of the drugs? I've done mushrooms, LSD and weed no more than 5 times each about 2 years ago. I can't get them anymore which makes me sad. I do get drunk 2-3 times a month. I'm 23.
