>>2522137My folks grilled me about my use of drugs today as though I'm spiraling down some path of self-neglect and rejecting their support. Thing is I smoke to sleep and if I didn't sleep our family would turn to shit cause I wouldn't be able to function/provide for them. Gonna have to see my therapist tomorrow but she's been on board with my occasional usage; ultimately I'm trying to keep my parents and therapist from digging into a world of hurt and keeping my past-life under wraps till I've put all my old connections to rest.
Here I thought I had a decent chance at starting over and making a difference in the direction of my life, and I can't blame them for feeling the way they do, I can't blame myself for medicating the way I do, and I can't blame my therapist for advocating a neurotypical lifestyle.
Im worried my whole world will go back to my submission to what is ultimately wild guesses about the best life a person in my circumstances can live but if I can't advocate for my own health and choices I have nothing and I'm already at that point where I have nobody to lean on.
Feels bad man..
