>>13458703I'm you bro. I literally prayed to God a few nights ago and told him- and I quote- "I know I'm not supposed to feel this, but I feel I hate you".
God really does fuck us over. In Genesis it talks about how he loved Jacob and hated Esau, yet he gave Esau insane wealth and riches, and Jacob kept getting fucked over. But Jacob's reward was infinitely better in the long run- all of Israel were his descendants, whereas Niggers are spawned of Esau.
Phillipians 2 isn't so much cringey as rage inducing to you and me. Paul writes about how we should legitimately rejoice in this great weight that rests on our shoulders, which I'm still scratching my head about.
But know one thing- God's logic is more logical than your logic; it's a child or a nigger who prays to God to win the lottery and, when he loses, abandons God. God has reasons you won't know until you die- and yes, I know that's not going to assuage you (or even my rage sometimes), but it's the truth- God is infinitely better than you in everyway, because he's God. He just Is.
TO be a christian is a MASSIVE burden on your self. Nobody pretends it isn't. But like Jacob, might the rewards be worth it in the long term? What fate usually awaits sinners and the corrupt? What fate usually awaits the stoic and well? Corrupt kings have always existed- who feast and enjoy themselves and make you envious beyond imagining, whereas the stoic and well have always eeked by in the margins. Nobody wants to eek by. But, in the whole, I promise you- I PROMISE YOU- that the stoic and well have more of an impact on the world than you can possibly know. The gluttonous kings forsake teaching their sons good morals; they forsake their kingdom; they forsake everything for more more more. The stoic and well suffer because they know that Buddha was actually right- suffering is one of the few certainties of nature. Why did God create a world for us to suffer in? I can't tell. It goes back to Adam and Eve, really.
