>>18038236>That isn't how relationships work.Well my "friends" don't talk with me anymore. We met in 2014 in tf2.
>I don't think you are boring. I think you are interesting.Why? do you say this to everyone? because with whom I didn’t communicate either irl or on the Internet, they stupidly didn’t want to communicate with me anymore. they say, I'm stuffy, irritable, boring.
It's like a endless pit. I can't stop digging myself.
>Not everyone just has adventure happen to them. Sometimes you have to find it, and I think until you go find adventure, you're just going to have the same mindset.It's reminds me a little game about anxiety.
I start shaking when I want to do something against my will, or rather, something that is wildly unfamiliar to me. I will go to the same hospital or store without any problems ... but to visit an informal store, a rock bar or a board game club ... YOU HAVE TO RUN, FASTER! YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
>Go and do something!I try to read books, choose clothes myself (the last year for sure), but I don’t develop any skills at all ... because I’m already set to fail from the very beginning. after all, investing time and effort at 16 is one thing, and at 30 it’s completely different, stupid self-criticism and lack of strength interfere. even when I was unemployed, I could not do anything normally to get out of the hole.
There is no support other than yourself. parents are unlikely to want to help already, because their hope for a glass of water in the form of an engineer has not come true. but this is their egoism, they thought only of themselves, and they forgot about me, that I can also think and feel. and these statements are taken with hostility by me, they say, "you could do anything, no one bothered you!" it only causes surprise and sadness and anger at the same time.
