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has r/banter ever been outside walking along a trail in the woods with their uncle when you start feeling a tingly in your body and you try and deduce where thingly weingly feeling is coming from and you look down and realize oh shit you have a boner so you release your willy from your pants to jack off much to uncle's dismay when a mosquito bites your willy and it swells up and makes it harder to jack off so you ask your uncle to help you and he says that you'll have to settle with anal masturbation so he pushes you with your pants down onto the ground but the tree stump that landed in your ass isn't enough to make you ejaculate so uncle unzips his pants and inserts himself into you and he gets splinters on his dick from the tree trunk but he keeps on going and he's ripping your anal passage with the splinters and you start to bleed out and he leaves you in the woods with a treetrunk up your ass but it's all okay because you're typing this right now?
