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Just writing and thinking about it makes my hairs jump. I tried to commit suicide and my mother took me to a hospital. There they asked me questions and I was crying and saying that I don't want to live anymore. Then they took me to a psych ward, I thought to myself, finally I will be able to talk to a psychiatrist and they will cure my depression, give me some pills to make me happy. Oh boy was I stupid. I arrived at the psych ward and changed clothes, you can't have laced shoes. They give you some grey pants and t-shirt. Surprisingly the food was awesome, and the portions were huge. I made friends with the staff and people there, it was awesome until I met the psychiatrist. You are psychotic take this x an y pills, I refused. I was not going to take any goddamn pill. I was taken to court, I gave an argument why I didn't want to take pills, the fucking judge gave the doctor power. The doctor was lying like a fucking snake, I literally have never seen such a art, such beauty in the creation of lies. I was angry and shocked at his ability to make lies. I go back to the psych ward, time for pills. I refused still. For over 2 months I fight back against 3 guys who held me and pull my pants to force the medicine into my ass. It fucking hurts after a month, and I still have a scar. I developed Akathisia as a side effect, it's the worst fucking torture. You can't stop moving, you can't go to bed because you feel a force making you move. I walked until my feet bled and my shins were bruised. I was walking 23 hours a day. My cognitive abilities were declining, I was a fucking zombie who couldnt read, also the pills killed my emotions and empathy. You literally become a robot. I came in at 185 and by the time I got out, one year of torture and harrasment and literally gnashing my teeth and begging for mercy at the sadistic bastard, I was released, I was 115 pounds. Fuck psychiatry and pills and psychology, it's all bullshit and never ever go to a fucking psych ward.
