Quoted By:
>You can't tell me what I'm feeling/thinking!
But I can very easily observe that you're lying about your thoughts. Am I just supposed to not act on that?
>Why do you keep getting upset at me for things I didn't do?
Because you did do them. Why do you refuse to take accountability?
>You can trust me!
Do you seriously think I'm going to fall for that?
>You're just acting like this because [bullshit that I would never say, think or do]!
Well, any attempt to prove that wrong would just seem like I'm fishing for sympathy. You can believe that I guess.
These are all phrases that various people both online and offline tell me frequently, paired with what I think about them but usually never say.
I go through cycles of on-and-off thinking I have paranoid personality disorder. Right now I'm not sure if I really just am crazy or if it's true that people are constantly conspiring against me and hiding their true thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions from me. When I think I have PPD I hate it. The thought of me being incapable of having an accurate perception of reality is terrifying. I've had a lot of mental breakdowns because of it, especially whenever given information about people that conflicts with my beliefs. My therapist thinks I'm too young (18, within diagnostic age) to have it, so I'm not diagnosed. People I've told about this continue believing that I'm PPD even when I think I'm just right about everyone though.
I usually just deal with people being terrible to me by excusing their behavior, even if they try to convince me that they never did that behavior in the first place. My terrible memory makes it really easy to excuse too. If I just don't freak out beyond an initial confrontation and they don't press me further for explanation, I can usually get myself to forget.
