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>Ask my daughter what she wants for dinner
>She angrily shouts a bunch of noise I don't understand like "WARLEOLREORLOGKROGKTOKGL"
>Confused, I enter her room to find her deepthroating a cucumber while doing a handstand
>I try to leave the room quietly, but she notices me and her eyes lock onto me with the swiftness and determination of an animal in the wild
>With sudden terror, I attempt to flee, but she crabwalks after me with great speed and pins me down, pulls the cucumber out of her mouth and forces it into mine
Why does she keep doing this to me?
