Quoted By:
>Colbert walks on stage
>Sooo...
>There's a gasp from the audience
>Jarble...
>All white women immediately give birth to multiracial children without becoming pregnant
>NRUMPT!!!
>A small Caucasian child seated in the third row of the audience ceases to exist
>Most white men in the audience undergo a chemical skin darkening process
>Colbert pulls a .357 Magnum from his pocket and shoots the remaining white men in the audience in the head
>The multiracial crowd are on the floor at this point in hysterics
>The sound waves from the laughter in the room shatter Colberts glasses, he removes them from his face
>An MPAA member runs towards the camera in an attempt to cut the live feed to the televised audience due to the violence of the situation
>Colbert shoots him in the head before he reaches the camera because he is a straight white male
>As he sees his reflection in the camera, the smile on Colberts face slowly fades and he stares blankly into the camera, he peers down to see that he ejacualted his pants too
>The sound of laughter slowly fades out and Colbert opens his mouth
>Don't forget Nrumpt, I'm coming for EVERY white male
>Every. Single. One.
>He smirks one last time
>The only thing my mouth is good for is for being a holster for...
>He loads the .357 Magnum and sticks the barrell in his mouth
>In a muffled voice he says "thhhhss gnnnnn" as he pulls the trigger
>The nuclear alerts immediately disappear worldwide
>A new age of prosperity where members of all races and faiths share their possessions comes into being
>Jimmy Kimmels son lives to be 150 years old and finds the cure to every disease known to man
>Obamacare is enshrined into the US constitution
