Quoted By:
UPDATE: EYEWITNESSES REPORT THAT FINNISH SPECIAL FORCES OF THE INFAMOUS "Kalevala" BATTALION HAVE ARRIVED TO WASHINGTON D.C APPARENTLY TRANSPORTED BY FINNISH "Väinämöinen" CLASS NUCLEAR SUBMARINES. IT IS STILL UNCLEAR WHAT THEIR MOTIVES ARE BUT SOURCES SAY THEY HAVE SWORN AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO DONALD TRUMP AND ARE PREPARING TO TAKE PART IN THE FIGHTING. THE KALEVALA BATTALION WAS UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR UNSPEAKABLE ACTS OF WAR CRIMES DURING THE 2016 RUSSO-FINNISH BORDER CONFLICT WHERE 22 CAPTURED RUSSIANS WERE REPORTEDLY SKINNED ALIVE BY THE FINNISH INVADERS.
