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I had many like most the guys at my school but only one was significant. My first love.
In a time of scene and emo girls she was somewhat of a mix of the two in style. At her core she was an artist and a pervert which was great for me. She would use my body for the base male bodies she’d draw in her yaoi manga. Later she got into drawing monsters and I was still making an appearance.
She was a stark white and pale thicc white girl with a fat set of milkers who wore collars, experimented with her eyeliner and dyed her hair all the time. When she wanted her tongue pierced she did it herself and got her first tattoo at 16. How I remember her she had half tone hair. One side black and the other platinum blonde. It wouldn’t be until a couple of years after HS that she’d get her second tongue piercing.
Every day after school we’d hangout in her room in the basement listening to MCR, Hollywood Undead and assorted emo music while fooling around. She watched hentai and was creating doujins already so just about any weeb hentai fetish stuff wasn’t off the table. In fact it was encouraged. There’s almost nothing we wouldn’t experiment with together and through it all she maintained a cool and mature attitude when dealing with my emotions.
She was always mature and patient when I was sad. Like a mom but more down to earth. She fostered a lot of confidence and growth that I still feel today. My attachment to her would last 10 years of being absolutely destructive with her. We’d throw away everything to be in each other’s arms again just one last time knowing that we may have changed but we’re still the best parts of each other. Ever ready to help mend the broken heart of the other by any means necessary. I sometimes think maybe my emotional damage as of late has been influenced by the absence of her. Every few years we’re drawn to each other cosmically to ruin whatever we have to be together.
It’s been 5 years since I last saw her.
I love you jonesy.
