>>13142796From 1975, Robert Stoller, “The Transsexual Experiment”. Ch.19 – Uneasiness
Important Point: “He looks grotesque, but he is thrilled”.
p. 249 The patient is a divorced father of two, in his 30s, in a profession practiced only by men, in which signs of femininity would lead to professional disaster. His appearance is masculine, not only because he is 6 feet 5 inches and weighs 250 pounds but because he is unable to carry himself in a feminine way. Nonetheless, since early adolescence, he has dressed secretly, for an hour or so at a time, in women’s clothes, becoming sexually excited and then masturbating.
p. 250 This consisted in my condoning his dressing more in women’s clothes, prescribing a progesterone derivative (with minimal feminizing effects), and standing aside beningly as he worked to save the money and then, recently, arranged with a private surgeon for genital surgery. He calmed down, and the two years he has so spent have been the happiest of his life. For the first time, he bought a wig and women’s clothes and began appearing publicly in the daytime. He looks grotesque, but he is thrilled. He acts convinced, despite his mass, the blonde wig that does not fit, the bizarre makeup, the bulky walk, and his inability to carry himself in a feminine manner, that people think he is a normal female. He never appears thus at work and has raised no suspicions there. In fact, the happy calmness that has overtaken him has led to this being the first professionally successful period in his life.
https://scribd.com/document/409278719/Stoller-Ch19-The-Transsexual-Experiment-Chapter-19-Male-Transsexualism-Uneasiness 