>>11215870having lost close relatives as well I can only say there is no shame in how you feel its important to go through this process, accepting that theyre gone is very hard, some people find solace in thinking theyll see them again but I dont think so but I digress
any feeling you feel is normal its important to not supress them or they will leak into all aspects of your life; whatever it takes for you to move on but thats the hardest part, some never do
there is no timeline I can give every person grieves differntly all I can say is give yourself a lot of leeway you should focus on trying to live a new normal but if you have to grieve then go ahead it will fade away, you will always miss them of course but to put it bluntly you have to move on or as you can see it will just get worse
for the guilt I know it feels terrible when you look back and think you could have done just one thing different, to that if you cant remove fault from yourself then forgive yourself, this of course means you have to love yourself which in itself is another very difficult thing to do but Ill end it here
