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Now when I say this town is out there… I mean it’s out there. The end of the earth. It’s barely accessible half the year.
The ground is permafrost so we can’t put pipes in – everyone here has to shit in a special bucket which is collected several times a week. The food is atrocious – and it’s even worse coming out the other end.
I first bought into crypto in March. I’d read about coins on /biz/, and I could have sworn I was some kind of King Midas. Every coin I selected would shoot up. My wealth doubled, the tripled, and by spring I had lost track.
I convinced myself that I really was living in the best of all possible worlds – there was no other explanation. It was like magic. I hitched a ride south one weekend and went on a shopping spree, buying up all the expensive wines I had lusted after back in university.
I called up my only living relative, my hag of a grandmother, to gloat about my success. I rubbed it in her face. Said I was the happiest man on the goddam planet. She disagreed:
“I doubt that. There’s a mongoloid down the hall from me who is the happiest man in the world. You should see his stupid face. Though I’m not supposed to say that nowadays, right?” I could hear her laughing to herself. She continued: “Life isn’t all about money. That kind of happiness is fleeting. Take it from an old broke bitch like me – without you here, I’ve never been happier!”
“Fuck you, you dumb cunt. I hope you rot in that cancer ward.” I said, and hung up. We never spoke again.
