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What you're searching--or rather desire--is a community, a culture, of like minded people that will alleviative your spirits by proving you a laid out plan of live and some guidance on that path towards success. Problem is, there is no form of community anymore. Everyone is online, coping with videogames or rageposting, in-order to at least find some solace. Nothing will or can save you except for yourself. Accept that this is the only real life. There is no afterlife. Don't be like those demented boomers who cling to Christianity in hopes of slavations because things are shit here.