>>3070967>we enter the living room>my wife looks to the UPS man and they exchange glances>”I implore you to rest your weary feet and sit upon my carpet”>I snap my belt, it creates a vacuum and then a burst of crackling air >my wonderful sons all emerge from the cellar, ready to begin the ritual>My guest is now screaming while my dear Margie is buried deep within the cushions of her padded chair>”intruders will not be tolerated” I say, as my voice booms throughout the room>I begin to take a whiff, inhaling through my magnificent nostrils>all of the oxygen in the room is sucked into my glorious shnaz>with a huff and a puff, I shoot a jet of compressed air at the intruder, while my silly sons hold him down>his skin is shredded from his body due to the sheer power, and his bones snap and crack under the pressure>his lifeless body lays there upon my patterned carpet, while my sons gather his remains to prepare the stew>I have once more saved my family from harm>”it is ok now my dear Margie, you are safe once more”, I say, as I snap her smartphone in two>”now, join me in the bedroom, I must attend to you”I am gremblo, and I will protect my family at all costs
