>>181567I'm not too sure reflecting on it a few years after
>few years ago had a small stash of porn on my phone, most of it being loli, in case of sexual emergencies>my narcissistic mom liked taking pictures of herself using my phone a lot >move the files to a hidden folder when finished fapping so that this isn't a problem>got lazy and decided not to move anything one rainy April night >biggest mistake of my career>I'm doing homework and have my phone out to google shit >she decides to grab the phone to look at her pictures at just the right time when I'm looking away >I notice and immediately latch onto the phone like a praying mantis, launch the table a meter toward the kitchen, slashing her eye with my fingernail in the process>begin stuttering nonsense to play off what just happened>"h-hey m-mom I got a really cooly grool greasy picture of our class helicopter set I wanna show you it was s1ck beans as hell dood I love you mom so much">"Anon, what do you have on your phone?" she begins tugging on it>"Show me what you have on here" she says as I grip for dear life and begin a tug-of-war with her>"You know what? You're fucking disgusting I don't want you to talk to me anymore. I'm calling your father right now. I already know you're gonna delete everything.">She goes to her room to call dad at work on her flip phone (lol)>I panic and start coming up with explanations and shit to say while I'm shaking from fear of how my dad's gonna kick my ass>being the clever little devil I am, I calm down and come up with a plan>delete all the porn and begin downloading lots of Naruto and deviantart furry images >go on facebook and download lots of pictures of a buff best friend of mine>change his contact name to "Rudy Best bf<3">my dad gets home and I go to him fake crying>in short, I convince him that I'm a closeted gay weeaboo furry and was way too embarrassed to come out about it so suddenly>at least he didn't think I masturbated to naked ladies