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>thinking tepid toilet water splashing on your anus is "cleaning" it.
Take the daily shower pill, Euros. It's a simple, first-world routine:
1) Poop.
2) Shower.
3) Deodorant.
Considering most of you are so poor that you have to live in tiny little apartments all your lives, I'd think you'd want to avoid wasting space on a bidet.
In closing: Showering everyday after you poop is proper hygiene for first world citizens.