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Impact on society
School vs Meth
Meth: A whirlwind of stolen goods and blood born pathogens, you will terrorize your town with the viciousness of a scabbed over werewolf.
Grad School: Your work will forever go unnoticed and unneeded. It's a national tragedy that at a public university, tax dollars were wasted funding your worthless "Post Contemporary Queer Theoy in Robocop 3."
Where the hours slip away
Meth: The simple animalistic hunt for your next high.
Grad School: Strapping electrodes on mice testicles so a tenured professor can take all the credit.
Lies to get you through the night
Meth: "This is my last time."
Grad School: "This is worthwhile and personally fulfilling."
Friends
Meth: Anyone not trying to stab you for loose change.
Grad School: People desperately masking their lack of originality with GRE vocabulary.
Realization of self loathing
Meth: You wake up in the police station for defecating in the McDonald's ball pit, again.
Grad School: It's 5am and you've spent 12 hours reading obscure medieval poetry for reasons you forgot.
Worrying parents
Meth: Wonder what they can do to get you back on your feet.
Grad School: Wonder what they did to raise such a wimpy child devoted to meaningless efforts.
Pay
Meth: Dependent on fluctuation of stolen copper market and dealer's need for handjobs.
Grad School: Guaranteed pathetic. The poverty line is a distant dream with your stipend equivalent to a 19th century sharecropping contract.
Superiority complex
Meth: "At least I'm not a heroin addict!"
Grad School: "Ugh, those undergrads with all their parties and friends and sex. What plebs!"
Fulfillment
Meth: The glass pipe slips from your fingers, your head tilts back, the world disappears around you. For a moment, there is only euphoria.
Grad School: After 4 months of research, you present your findings at a conference attended by 7 people.
Prestige
Meth: "Whoa, that dude is hardcore!"
Grad School: "So, like, if a janitor taught a class, that's you?"
