>>16071700I was involved in something very violent when I was only 5 years old and my parents didn't know about it, I kept it secret. I think this changed me at a young age so I was more inside my own mind like you are describing and I can identity with everything you are saying. I was raised in a very catholic household and I think the dichotomy between the violent event and the catholicism created two people inside me, one that I bury really deep that is the one involved with the violent event, and can never be seen, and the one that I present to people, even to my closest friends and family members, isn't really me. I came to realize there are more men like me than I realize, but they are still really rare, like <1% of men.
I don't really feel any pity at all for most humans, only for the ones that aspire to greater philosophical goals, those are the only humans worth anything. The rest are refuse. The way they all take everything for granted, if given any elevation or moving up in class/wealth/status and they all do the exact same things they were complaining about rich people doing 5 seconds ago. For most of humanity... it's a wash. I simply do not care about them. I care far more about animals than I do them.
