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So, I’m 19 years old. I was dating my ex for almost 2.5 years. It was the best relationship I ever had; the only real point of contention was that throughout the relationship, he always asked me if I wanted to have sex and I always told him I just didn’t feel ready. He never “pressured” me, but I could always tell his disappointment. The most we ever did was making out/heavy groping with clothes.
Well 6 days ago, we broke up. He told me that he loved me, but he just didn’t feel sexually satisfied and that he wished me the best, but he thinks it’s best if we see other people. I was obviously distraught. I felt ugly and unwanted and that nobody would ever love me.
3 days after when I was feeling particularly down, a co-worker started hitting on me. I was feeling really low about myself and he talked about how sexy I was and how my boyfriend was an idiot to break up with me. He suggested that maybe we should go to his car. We did and to make a long story short, we ended up at a park having sex. I just felt like I lost everything because of this dumb virginity thing, and he made me feel so wanted and beautiful.
Well that night, my ex called me begging for me back. That he’s okay with waiting and that he loves me. I was so happy but I felt SOO guilty. I tried to bring it up subtly (I said we should get tested) and he was insistent that he didn’t even kiss another person, but if I really wanted him to, he will. I hinted we should probably get tested together when he said that was a ridiculous idea and he knows I’m clean.
I admitted to him I was feeling really low and actually did end up hooking up with someone. It looked like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. He was solemn for a bit and told me “if you just did some heavy petting, I don’t think you need to get tested” when I admitted we actually had sex.
