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short answer: porn
long answer: i used to wonder this same thing, but after 20 years of failing to kick my porn addiction i basically can't even jerk off to sex anymore and it's made maintaining a relationship difficult. i'm at the point where i can only really cum to the idea of a girl shitting into my mouth or a giant girl eating me alive and turning me into shit.
i would've been married 10 years ago or 5 years ago if both of those relationships weren't ruined by the fact that i just had very little sexual drive for my partner, and could only even enjoy if i were secretly imagining one of my fantasies and using their body to masturbate to it.
i sympathize with gay men but i also understand that it's not a "life style," it's just surrending your sexuality to satan to be twisted and malformed into something only pleasing to nurgle. if any underageb&s browsing this site, stop, and stop using porn before you end up like me