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>at the supermarket where i work
>not working just shopping
>notice emaciated meth head woman stealing chocolate
>have pride in my supermarket due to morning and evening tribal dances the manager makes us do
>realise I have to stop her
>chase her, shout her to stop
>she doesn't, starts running
>i manage to grab her, and get her to the ground
>I am pretty skinny
>maybe 126lbs and 182cm
>she starts to overpower me
>can feel her easily getting out of my clutch hold
>I am kind of laying on top of her
>try and intimidate her
>"NOW YOU WILL FEEL, THE SPINAL PINCH!"
>try and close my body against her spine like a crabs pincer
>she throws me off
>i slide along the floor
>she throws a chocolate bar at me, hits me in the eyeball
>started bleeding out the eyeball, think the sharp plastic packaging scraped along it
>had to get treatment
>everyone at work and the regular customers make fun of me now
>'oh its been hard times recently, we're all feeling the spinal pinch' and other jokes like that
