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I grew up in a >90% white suburb in America, but I'm Mexican. Picrel basically describes my life. Girls were never particularly interested in me, and even though I was never bullied I came to think pretty low of myself. Initially, I tried to cope with this by obsessing with the gym, fashion, trying to earn money, etc. -- the typical stuff. But at this point (age 23), I've basically given up. The truth is, I doubt my low self-esteem is the result of a problem with me or my thinking, but rather an objective deduction. I admire the fruits of white society, but after spending so much time on /pol/, I'm realistic enough to admit my ancestors could not have achieved anything close to that in even 5000 years. I've now shared this with two other Mexicans I've known, both of whom were annoyed and blew me off, but I can't shake this feeling wherever I go. No matter how hard I try, I will never catch up to white people, so why even bother trying to begin with? I want to raise children, but as far as I'm concerned, the whole world would be better off with me adopting white orphans instead of having my own.
What are people like me supposed to do? I'm not going to move to Mexico or anything, I'm a US citizen. But at the same time, here in the US I feel constantly mogged at everything I attempt, even when I put in a lot of effort.
